Homeless couple building a new home after wedding
(story and photos courtesy of the Fayetteville-Observer)
Cheryl Hall and Kenny Carstarphen stood before about 40 witnesses in a place neither of them expected to be six months ago - with an opportunity they feared would elude them.And when the "I dos" were done, tears of joy were as common as smiles.
The story of Cheryl and Kenny stretches from inner city New Jersey to Fayetteville, from prison to praise. It meanders through the pain of drug use and crime, the raw hopelessness of lives that seemed to be cast off from the start.And it finds itself revised and renewed through the prayers and efforts of family members who tried, one more time, to make a difference.
"You've heard about 'I was lost, but now I'm found?' " asked Anthony Carstarphen. "This is it in the flesh.
Nobody thought it was a good idea for Anthony to bring his older brother to Fayetteville. Not his friends, nor family, nor even his senior pastor at Restoration Outreach Fellowship, where Anthony was an assistant pastor.But Anthony didn't see any other way for his brother, now 46, to get out of the soul-sucking cycle that had held him most of his life. He had to get out of Camden, N.J."There was just too much holding him there," Anthony said. "There was just no way to shake that life."That life" had snared Kenny as a teenager. He says he dropped out of school at age 16.At that age, I thought it was the thing to do," he said "No one was going to tell me any different, either. I started drinking, using a little marijuana. There were lots of temptations."
It didn't take long for temptations to catch up with him. In 1981, he was convicted of burglary.He figures about half his adult life was spent in prison. During one of those stints, in 1988, he received a letter from a girl named Cheryl Hall.Cheryl, like Kenny, grew up in urban New Jersey. She became friends with Kenny's sister, who suggested Cheryl write."He was in prison in Trenton," Cheryl said. "I'd write, send him food, things like that. For years he'd get out, then go back in," she said. "Even when he was trying to live right, something would happen.I'd get so mad. I'd be chasing him up the street, hitting him with a stick to get him to stop. Nothing worked for long."
Change came in the form of a long stretch in the New Jersey state prison. Kenny was identified as a drug dealer, a charge he denies. He was convicted and sentenced to 15 years.That was that low point you hear about," Kenny said. I looked at everything I had done, the opportunities I had wasted. I was a criminal, and I didn't want to be one.In prison, I began reading, trying to straighten myself out. I was reading psych books, figuring out why I did the things I did. I knew I was this guy who wasn't violent or wanting to hurt others. Why did I do what I did? I had no home, no one but Cheryl, no idea how to find a way out.That's when I started praying, even though I didn't know who I was praying to. You know how people say, 'God bless you?' I never took heed to who God was or what he wanted me to do. I was ready to find out, ready to hear from the Lord."
He also heard from his younger brother, Anthony. Anthony had watched as his big brother's life spun out of control over the years and swore to do better.Last winter, Anthony reached out once more. Kenny was on the streets at this point, wanting to change, but not knowing how. If he'd come to Fayetteville, leave his past behind, Anthony said, he'd help his brother start fresh.This time, Kenny was ready. He told Cheryl he'd call for her when he was set and rode a Greyhound south.It was like the Lord had sent letters to everyone, telling them I was coming," Kenny said. "They'd say hello, ask me how I was, and they really meant it. It's like they could see my good points, not the bad.Free of his old haunts, the better side of Kenny was apparent. Anthony said his brother blossomed, smiling and eagerly joining others in work and prayer. He became a regular at Operation Inasmuch breakfasts and began working full time.
When Kenny landed a job at Dock's, he felt the time was right to ask Cheryl to join him again. "He had asked me to marry him before, many times," she said. "But I wasn't going to marry a man with all those bad influences in his life. But now, look at him. In the past I couldn't get him to even look at a Bible. Now he'll drop on his knees and pray in the street if he feels he should. That's the good man I knew he could be."
The ceremony itself was a whirlwind affair. There was no need for a long engagement: 20-plus years should be sufficient.They were married beneath a canopy of white cloth. Anthony performed the ceremony, alternating between smiles and tears of joy.Kenny said he hoped people who might be facing tough times "will take inspiration from us. Any young people who think the streets are better than school will think again. I've been there. It isn't where you want to go."
Many Thanks to:
Flowers: DaMac Wedding World
Tuxedo: Willie Walker
Shoe & Jewelry: Bridal/Pagent Connection
Dress and Veil: Patricia Crouch
Honeymoon Suite: Mr. and Mrs. Jeremy Wood
Paper Products: Laura Burkart
Registry and Hair Accessories: Erin Garcia